YOU GUYS…!!

Oh. My. Gosh. Kanda Land has taken a journey since way back in the middle of 2021 TO NOW.

Kanda Land HAS A FINISH. As of January 24th.

SO, while I patch holes and make edits to my FINISHED BOOK, y’all enjoy this little teaser that I laughed at while editing yesterday:
(Also, I finally went through and put titles throughout the manuscript, so now we have distinct parts!)

Part 75: A Side of Lettuce (excerpt)

Lina shrugged. “I don’t know, babe. But we’re alive, aren’t we?”

“Maybe we’re dead and we’re just dreaming or something. Do people dream when they die? Like…before their soul leaves or whatever? Kind of like that ‘life flashing before your eyes’ or ‘watching your whole life over’ thing? Maybe we just think we’re still alive. And we’re just… dreaming that we’re continuing our lives; instead of rewatching them.”

“How could you be talking to me, then? I don’t think I could be in your dream, E.”

“Maybe I’m imagining you.”

“You aren’t.” But Lina wondered the same thing. Maybe she was imagining E.

We need to quit our shit, we can’t be thinking this stuff right now. We’ll get all twisted in our shit.

“Call V. Then we’ll know. If she says something weird, we’re dreaming. If not; we’re probably just really fucked up.” She laughed. “We’re probably just really fucked up, babe. Come on, now; you’ve been fucked up like this before.”

“And I felt dead then, too. …I just need this Taco Bell.”

“Turn right, up here at the light.”

E set the blinker on and veered into the right lane. She’d definitely hit some mailboxes during this drive. And she was probably going only 25 miles an hour, too. She tried to be careful, but she wasn’t focused and couldn’t concentrate and everything looked funny and her head was spinning.

They finally made it into the drive-thru line and E was cautious to not be too close to the person in front; she was sure she’d hit them by accident. And she kept her foot extra tight on the brake pedal—she hoped she wouldn’t forget which was break and which was gas. She’d done that before.

She squinted and realized the sun was blinding her. “Hey, do you have sunglasses in here?”

“Yeah. In the front console thing.”

“The center console?”

“No, the…pocket, I guess. …Beneath the radio.” She flopped her finger at it.

“Oh.” E found the flip-open cubby and the sunglasses inside. Lina shaded her own eyes by putting her arm over her face and resting against the headrest. The sleeve of her pink hoodie offered more coverage.

“You good?”

Lina rocked her head side to side against the seat, “Nah babe.”

“Taco Bell is coming soon.”

Lina nodded her head and gave a thumbs up. It was all she could manage. She was tired as fuck.

E rested her head against her seat, too. The line was moving slow. She contemplated her life. She couldn’t escape it. She really couldn’t. What was she doing? What was this mess? Why did she come here again? It plagued her.

They finally made it to the window and the lady recited the order to confirm it. Her energy was so high to E, but E managed a “Yes ma’am” in response. She knew they looked pitifully: completely messed up and just as half-dead as they felt.

Another minute later, she was handed two bags of food and two drinks: A medium Sprite and a large diet coke. E handed the coke to Lina and set the bags in her lap.

“You do know that diet coke isn’t any better than regular coke, right?” E said, as she pulled into a parking space. She didn’t feel like driving all the way back, right now.

“Yeah. I just like the taste of it.”

“My papaw always used to say it’ll kill you faster.”

“Look at me. Everything kills me faster.” Lina laughed and E chuckled, “True.”

–the part that made me cackle 😂🤣

They looked in the bags. Three extra-meat tacos with extra lettuce and an extra side of beans in one, and four taco supremes in the other.

“Take your nasty lettuce tacos.” Lina handed her the bag with them in it.

E chuckled.

“Those are like eating a lettuce wrap.” Lina grimaced.

“Listen, I don’t want to have gas for the next million years.” E laughed.

Lina looked at her, “Does it make you not have gas?”

“I don’t know, but at least it feels less heavy in my stomach when there’s a lot of lettuce. Straight meat and beans and I’ll be constipated for years after one bite.”

“Okay, okay.” Lina grimaced again.

“Here.” E set her bag on the center console. Lina took it and unwrapped one of her supremes.

E looked at the taco, piled high with cheese and beans and meat and onions and sour cream. “I do not want to sit next to you when you eat those.” She reached over and rolled down Lina’s window with the hand-crank after opening her own.

“Hey!”

“We need fresh air anyways, hush.”

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Thank you for reading and following along. The end is in sight!!

-A.M.